The original pervy hobbit fancier (cassieclaire) wrote,
The original pervy hobbit fancier

excerpt from Sauron's diary

The Secret Diary of Sauron

Day One: Dirty weekend with Elrond turned sour when I told him purple was not his color.

Day Five Have been marched against by last alliance of men and nancing elves. Is transparent attempt by Elrond to get back at me for comment about purple. I will not take it back! I told him purple made him look like an eggplant, and it does. Is no need for him to get so shirty about it.

Day Six Is not that being defeated by last alliance is so bad, is not even that being reduced to a disembodied eyeball is so bad, although Visine would be a comfort. But whose bright idea was it to slice onions in here?


Blast those orcs and their fondness for onion dip. Have taken their disco ball away. God, it's fun to be evil.

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i love you cassieclaire! i hope that's ok.
Day 3425435: Am finally on first page of worshippers. Go me! heh, that rocks...keep going please :D
is not even that being reduced to a disembodied eyeball is so bad, although Visine would be a comfort. But whose bright idea was it to slice onions in here?

Wheee! more Very Secret Diary entries!

Off to vote for Fictionalley, now.
Heehee! Even better than the Legolas diary. Wonderful!
Definitely FUN FUN FUN to be evil. Poor Sauron. Very funny as regards the references to the ubiquitous purple dress and disco ball.

Go Cassie! I love these diaries and missed them already. More, more! ^__^
are you going to publish this stuff?
*Blast those orcs and their fondness for onion dip. Have taken their disco ball away. God, it's fun to be evil.*
Hehehe, thats my favorite line! Keep up the good work! Yay! I'm on the first page! *does little happy dance*
Yay, on first page! Go me. No, I love these diaries. I check here every day. Cannot wait for me. Must go fondle jewelery. Okay, bad imitation. :)
I just wanted to add my congrats to everyone else's piles of congrats. If you write it, we will come! :)


March 19 2002, 13:41:46 UTC 15 years ago

i love these journals. they're so funny. i love the part about the onions. haha. ur so good at writing these things. keep up the good work.


March 19 2002, 13:54:55 UTC 15 years ago

At last! I've waited a long time for the next diary. (We all have). I'll take your word for it on Fiction Alley - although I love the HP books, I can't say I'm into the fan fiction there.(Although I must confess to a sneaking longing to read THE story, to see how bad it really is.)

Keep up the brilliant work, and don't let the b****rd get you down!!

(I'm not really anonymous, I'm
Oh, you should give it a try, especially if you've never been to FA before - check out and click on a few fics!
Visine?!?! LOL!!!! Onions... disco ball.. *hyperventilates* You are too funny! ^_^



March 19 2002, 15:14:54 UTC 15 years ago

Yay Cass! Now instead of everyone begging, "When are you going to write more?" Now we can beg, "When are you going to finish that?"

:) Add me to your list of devoted fans!

what a brilliant start!! Can't wait to read the rest of it!!!!
yes!!!!! i went away for 10 days and i come home to this!! yipee!! cannot wait until the rest. great great start! i can so see this happening. elrond should learn to take criticism and not get so shirty, i totally agree. lol. keep up the good work!

and you definently have my vote for fictionalley as top site :D
well i'm going to post a love *erm* *giggle* letter any who I LOVE YOU CASSIE CLAIRE!!

but i'll vote... if only i knew where... so uhm, where?

where d'you want me (and everyone else) to vote?


March 19 2002, 23:08:12 UTC 15 years ago

Only 27 comments so far? *looks vaguely amused*

You can vote for Fictionalley here:


15 years ago



15 years ago



March 19 2002, 16:05:08 UTC 15 years ago

I can't wait to hear more!!! SUre, I'll go vote for fictionalley... It IS a nice site...

-Rougue [Er, dun ask...]
the Making of the Fellowship
ARAGORN: Frodo, if by my life or death, I can serve you, I will. You have my sword.

LEGOLAS: And my bow.

GIMLI: And my axe.

MERRY: And my sympathies.

PIPPIN: And here's my bill.

Blynk (undomiel) wrote, in laughlorien,
@ 2001-12-29 12:55:00

Since we were all discussing a spoof version of LotR in the other community...

The following I claim, and it MUST be so---

Wallace Shawn as the Witch-King of Angmar/Lord of the Nazgûl. He'd be SO PERFECT.

Shawn: FOOL! No living man may hinder me!
Eowyn: Ah, but no living man am I!
Shawn: Inconceivable!
Eowyn: You look upon a woman! Eowyn, am I; sister-daughter to King Theoden.
Shawn: A minor technicality!


(Post a new comment)

kvschwartz <--- my part begins here
2001-12-29 12:48 (link)
Eowyn: You lay down your sword, I'll lay down my sword, and we'll thumb wrestle for Gondor.
Shawn: I have no thumbs! I am nine-tenths ghost! I am Nazgûl!
Eowyn: (stabs Shawn)
Shawn: No fair! I never said "go"! Oh, Saurpuss, save me! (dies)
Eowyn: Crap! I've got Nazgûl blood on my knickers. Where can I get new knickers in Gondor?
Pippin: Hey, I'm dying here.
Eowyn: Shut up. You've got lower billing.
Eh, wasn't it MErry who helped slay the nazugul guy?


15 years ago

Deleted comment


15 years ago

Visine, hee.. too funny. More than happy to vote for such talent.



March 19 2002, 19:00:46 UTC 15 years ago

my side...

"Blast those orcs and their fondness for onion dip. Have taken their disco ball away. God, it's fun to be evil."


And that's all I can say right about now.

go cassie


March 19 2002, 19:07:32 UTC 15 years ago

go cassie! great sauron entries. but when are we gonna get more hp?? the draco series must be completed soon or spontaneous combustion might take place!! please hurry
Yay! More Diaries! Thank you!

::goes to vote for Cassie Claire's site::
The smilies are not happy enough to describe what I am feeling.

I had the Diaries e-mailed to me about a week ago and have since them passed then around my school, supporting them and preaching their absolutely hilariousness to everyone who has read or seen LoTR. Everyone loves them, and beg to take them home. My copy has the URL ripped away from half the pages, where I have taken it to give to Diary Lovers.

Write more soon!



March 19 2002, 20:55:23 UTC 15 years ago

OMG OMG OMG thankyou thankyou thankyou!
I love the diaries so,so,so much!
thankyou again


Go LOTRers!


March 19 2002, 20:59:26 UTC 15 years ago

Nope, i'm definetlt a LOTRer aswell as ALL my friends (most of which hate HP)
keep up the good work!

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