The original pervy hobbit fancier's Journal

Subject:	The Secret Diary of Aragorn
Time:	11:37 pm.

So, I have been trawling through the wilderness that is Lord of the Rings fanfiction. No, I don’t mean Hobbit smut, which is all much of a muchness; I was looking for Legolas/Aragorn slash because Rhysenn said she wanted to read some. Alas, there hardly is any, it’s all Legolas/Gimli (which admittedly makes far more sense if you’ve read the books) but it’s kinda yukky. I did find one Legolas/Aragorn story, which featured Legolas sneaking into Aragorn’s room after the Council of Elrond and....stealing his diary. Apparently, Aragorn has a diary and time to write in it, and all he writes about is how cute he thinks Elf boys are. Who knew? I told Emily about this, and we were boggled as to what else Aragorn might put in his diary, aside from the fact that it is already tragically out of character for Aragorn, who seems very busy fighting a war against evil and waiting to be King of Middle-Earth, to have a diary in the first place. One does wonder what he might write in it...

The Secret Diary of Aragorn son of Arathorn

Day One:
Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. good.

Met up with Hobbits. Walked forty miles. Skinned a squirrel and ate it.

Still not King.

Day Four:

Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.

Not King yet.

Day Six:
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing. Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!

Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.

Still not King.

Day Ten:

Sorry no entries lately. V. dark in Mines of Moria. Big Baelrog.

Not King today either.

Day Eleven:
Ocs killed: 7. V. good. Stubble update: Looking mangy.

Legolas may be hotter than me.

I wonder if he would like me if I was King?

Day 28:

Beginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. Also, hairy feet kind of a turn-off.

Still not King.

***

Actually, this is pretty fun. Does this count as LOTR fanfic? Eeek.

NB: Please, person who wrote the Aragorn’s Diary story, do not read this and decide you want to stalk me because I didn't like your fanfic. It won’t end well, and I really don’t mean you any harm. :D

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